


Tit for Tat

by chopzoe



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Erwin Smith, Canon Universe, Come Shot, Come Swallowing, Desk Sex, Deviates From Canon, Drinking & Talking, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Romance, F/F, F/M, Fem!Levi, Female Levi (Shingeki no Kyojin), First Times, Hand Jobs, Huddling For Warmth, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Masturbation, Menstruation, Mention of blood, Multi, Oral Sex, Orgasm Control, POV Alternating, Past Relationship(s), Platonic Cuddling, Post-Shingeki no Kyojin: Kuinaki Sentaku | Attack on Titan: No Regrets, Pre-Canon, Rough Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Tags May Change, Tent Sex, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, Work In Progress
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-31
Updated: 2020-09-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:08:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 19,420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24479230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/chopzoe/pseuds/chopzoe
Summary: It all started as a night in the Squad Leader's office, as Levi has to recalibrate her relationship with the man who lent her wings - and to dispel the ghosts from the past.
Relationships: Erwin Smith/Mike Zacharias, Levi/Erwin Smith, Levi/Mike Zacharias
Comments: 12
Kudos: 77





	1. Tit for Tat

_…Fucking smile, should have killed him then and there…-_

Levi’s mind was racing with insults and forsaken plans, once again wishing she would have sliced him when she first saw the smirk on that face. The same one as now – as he stretched out his hand: big, firmly and almost scorching hot, resting it on the back of her neck. She left her cravat this morning, not wearing it because of the burning summer heat. Her body, as if betraying her, reacted immediately and Levi could sense a tingling sensation explode where his palm touched her skin, which soon was intensified when he _dared_ to bow down, diminishing the space between their faces.

_…when he would have least expected it-_

She wanted to let one of her clenched fists fly into his face, finding great pleasure in the sound his cracking nose would make following the impact with her knuckles, but they remained open. Hanging down to her sides. He stole the power over her movements, the second his palm touched her skin.

_Fucking bastard._

Instead, Levi was staring into his eyes, rendered motionless, like a mouse eying the cat that was soon to feel the paws pinning it down. She could feel his breath on her cheeks, on her lips, formed by grim disdain.

She wished to feel this way. To keep hold on to that anger.

But her body turned against her, for a good while now. Not just this moment, it started to develop a life of its own weeks ago. Lately, Levi felt a gush of energy unknown to her before, whenever Erwin came into contact with her. Or if he gave her an order on the field.

“Meet me in the office at midnight.”

Midnight.

After the night fell, the temperature dropped dramatically, leaving the air outside crisp. Levi didn’t hurry to the Squad Leader’s office where Erwin was waiting. She also took her time binding the cravat around her neck, even tying it in a more elaborate way than usual, just to spite Erwin.

The wooden door felt cool against her fist when she beat on it. It sounded in the hallway, lit by candles a few meters apart, creating a dull orange light in the area. She waited. Listened. For a while, there was no response from the inside of the office and Levi felt more annoyed the longer the silence existed.

_This fucking piece of-_

Just when she lifted the fist to knock even more forcefully, Erwin’s voice sounded from the inside, smooth and strong. “Do come in.”

“Are you deaf or something?” Levi greeted the man standing in front of the diamond grit window, partially bathed in the light of the full moon. She stopped in front of the massive desk, keeping her distance. He ignored her remark and pointed to the chair nearest to the table. Levi battled with the feeling of irritation for a moment, then, as if staggered by herself, falling onto the chair. “Why am I here again?”

“I thought you could use having a drink with me.” Erwin suggested.

Levi lifted a slim eyebrow. “Why?”

“It’s just an offer. We haven’t had the time to get to know each other. Besides,” Erwin put down two glasses and a slim bottle of brown liquor. He opened it and started to pour a bit in each glass. “I suppose I should apologise.”

He set the bottle aside and pushed one of the glasses towards Levi – careful as if she could jump. She watched the glass and then shifted her eyes to his face, a strange thoughtful look was etched to it.

“For what?”

“It wasn’t exactly appropriate to touch your neck earlier.” Erwin said in a low, serious voice. “I should not have done it and your reaction was very much telling that you were offended. I won’t do such thing again.”

“But that’s not the reason you wanted me to come here.” She muttered, accepting the glass only reluctantly. Her eyes were still on his face. He didn’t shift a bit and it made her even more suspicious. The words of his apology played in Levi’s mind, she wasn’t sure if he really was so sorry. Her instinct made her think it’s too planned and with a certain goal in mind.

“Like I said, I wanted to get more familiar.”

“If you plan to make me drunk and expect to get something out of me as a consequence, you might be disappointed because you’re not the first one to try that,” Levi said nonchalantly.

Erwin seemed surprised – like he hasn’t thought of it before.

“Farlan tried to get me drunk and it ended up in him vomiting all over himself. Save yourself the same embarrassment.” Levi downed the glass provocatively, watching Erwin look at her dumbfounded while she slid the glass back to him. “I have a high tolerance you know.”

Humming, he refilled the glass and set it in front of her once again. “Fascinating. You keep surprising me every day.”

Levi scoffed and said nothing.

Erwin took a sip of his own drink, setting the glass back down slowly. He spoke after a few seconds of silence. His eyes on the table. “I don’t want you to feel like I want to trick you. You can talk, or don’t. I won’t judge. That’s all.” Slowly, he trailed the rim of his glass with his finger. His voice sounded like his face looked, thoughtful, solemn, almost hurt in its quietness.

Levi watched and knitted her eyebrows. Then, defeated, she sunk back, her arm stretched out with her fingers gripping her glass.

“Ask what you wanna know,” she sighed.

Erwin was fixated on some point on the table, not moving while blinking lightly. “Anything?”

“Yeah.”

“What did you do besides stealing?”

She threw her leg over the other and said casually: “This and that.”

“Did you murder?”

Levi’s face was deadpan. “Yes.”

He was quiet, nodding. Taking a long gulp.

“You always seem so fearless. Isn’t there anything you’re scared of?”

She thought for a moment, sitting up and lifting her other arm onto the desk. “Well, I hate being sick. And mold is making me want to puke.”

He looked at her, lifting his brows and humming again. “That’s pretty normal.”

She lifted her glass and took a few sips. Her throat closed at the thought that was coming to her mind. “I like to have control.”

His gaze was intense and he was nodding again. “I see.”

They went on drinking in silence, emptying glass after glass until the bottle was drained. Erwin suddenly shifted in his seat, standing up and going to the window. She downed the rest of her drink and set the glass aside, pushing to her feet as well. Levi first thought about thanking him, wishing him a good night and then heading out to the sleeping bunks. They had training tomorrow and not seeing him until then would probably be the right, reasonable thing to do. Instead, she went to the window, stopping next to him. He was still thinking about something, Levi could tell.

“Ran out of questions?”, she probed.

He faced Levi, eying her the same intense way like earlier.

Without a word, and without giving him any more time to make another move, Levi gripped his hand and guided it on her face. It was big, and warm, having the same effect than hours ago on her neck. Energy rushed through her, a strong force that was making her drawn to him instantly. Something between them snapped and she could feel Erwin lifting his second hand, touching her other cheek and bowing down to cover Levi’s mouth.

It hovered between them for a good while now, and Levi was growing sick of beating about the bush. Her own hands flew to his collar, tugging at him and – turning out it was a bit too forceful – making him tumble forwards. Luckily, Levi wasn’t lying when she said, she has a high tolerance. Using her strength and his momentum, she hauled them both back to the desk. A grunt escaped his mouth when they slammed against the edge of the wooden plate. His breath and the vibration on her mouth as a result of the impact made her light headed and she willingly parted her lips to let him kiss her deeply.

His hands ran down Levi’s body and gripped her waist, hoisting her onto the desk. Meanwhile, Levi’s fingers worked on the buttons of his shirt and his belt, skilfully sliding more and more fabric off his body. Somewhere during this, her legs had divided to have Erwin stand between, leaving her struggling to get rid of her boots. Her hand lifted, seizing the moment his lips left Levi’s mouth for the breath of a second and put it in between.

“Stop being a goddamn magnet for a second and do something else,” Levi breathed, never being this impatient before. He wanted to get in her pants, so he might as well help remove it.

He kissed her fingers and she rolled her eyes, watching as he stepped away and sank down, tugging on her boots one after another and discarding them, then standing again, pushing his hands under the fabric of her pants – which was sending a wave of energy pulsating through her body once again.

Levi unceremoniously grabbed the waistband of his pants and yanked it down, exposing his hard cock.

“It’s on you,” she grumbled.

Erwin gave her a slight push, so her back met the plate of the desk. Then, as blunt as her, he removed both her pants, letting them hit the floor as the boots. He stepped between Levi’s legs again, which she had parted for him and bent, grabbing her waist with his hands and leaning down.

She couldn’t help but gasp loudly when he filled her with one big push, swift but not quite as rough. Still it wasn’t exactly tender.

After a short while that he spent not moving, he slowly slid outside, only to jerk right back in. It jolted through Levi like the first one, but his time, she was able to anticipate it more. Levi swore and could feel Erwin studying her face from the side, slightly pulling back. She knew he knew and it was not worth the mention, she decided, as her hands grabbed his ass and yanked him back inside with vigour, meeting his eyes.

Guided by her pushing hands, he quickly went on and repeated both movements a few times in shorter and longer frequencies, as well as alternating in force. Soon, though, they settled into a rhythm that filled the air in the office with excited pants and occasional moans.

He fucked her ardently, making her move with each thrust of his cock, while she lay under him on the big desk. She could feel herself getting sore, swearing again when he pressed his hand on her chest and wiggled his way under her shirt, opening it and stroking her bare breasts.

Erwin abruptly pulled out and Levi could feel his hot come dripping onto her lower stomach, momentarily making her not as disgusted as she first suspected. Still too overcome by what they did, she just stayed lying down, staring to the ceiling. It hit her when she tried to sit up and slightly flinched.

She looked up into Erwin’s face, taking in the undefinable expression of caution and guilt in his eyes and – gripping his neck – pulled his mouth on hers, coaxing it open with a few nudges of her tongue.

Flinching as well, Erwin broke away. On his lower lip, a bright red fresh drop of blood appeared.

“Tit for tat, blondie.”

She pulled on her pants again, finishing with her boots and turned away, closing the door on her way out without looking at him again.

Still dark outside, Levi made her way to the baths. She can’t explain why it turned out this way, why she even let it happen. The water hit her neck, reminding her of his hot palm when it slid between the collar of her shirt and her skin. _Sorry my ass._

It felt good getting clean, washing away the sticky residue of his come that was clinging onto her stomach. _Disgusting… The fuck was I thinking._ Her hands trailed over her body, still feeling the rush, now slowly fading and going down the drain with the water.

Levi tried not to dwell too much but as she learned again hours ago, her body betrayed her. That’s why she didn’t need to think to memorise the way his cock entered her, filling her up all the way and making her his. As if it wasn’t enough owning her when they rode out to explore titan territory.

 _Why am I surprised?_ Levi thought to herself mockingly.

He picked her up from the gutters, of course she is his. And will be until she dies under his command.

The water stopped and she dried herself and put her uniform back on, heading out into the dark and making her way back again.


	2. Composure

Two days had passed since that night in the office, and Levi disappeared from Erwin’s view. Until now, he was willing to be lenient, but she was still a soldier and especially subordinate, being in his squad. To avoid trouble, he would need to treat her like their comrades better sooner than later. That meant keeping their relationship as professional as possible.

It meant keeping his urges in check. For Levi’s and his sake both. He was at a weak point, and it won’t happen another time. He’d make sure of that.

Erwin was sunken in thoughts when he used the razorblade to remove his stubble, standing in front of the mirror wall in the men’s bath. He could see Mike enter and nod at him through the mirror. It was still early, like always, and common for them to meet here before the others.

After Erwin bowed down to wash his face, he could see the other glance at him. Erwin wondered to himself whether Mike had noticed anything – he caught his strange observance since the morning after he had taken Levi. He guessed Mike figured what happened, using his familiarity with Erwin and his good nose – his special gift which seemed applicable for humans as well.

“You had sex with Levi.” Mike muttered, proving Erwin was right after all.

He didn’t continue and instead started with his own washing routine, while Erwin began dressing in his uniform, not replying at first.

“It’s not my business, but…” Mike then started. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

Erwin buttoned up his shirt. “Don’t worry, Mike.” He simply uttered, calmly finishing putting his boots on and grabbing his jacket. He left the bath, shoving his conflicting thoughts to the back of his head. He needed to battle his weakness, and start being a squad leader.

It was early in the morning and Levi was alone in the baths, as usual. Showering was a matter of few minutes for Levi, but today, she felt miserable enough to linger for a bit longer. After getting clean, Levi ran a hand down between her legs, letting her fingers brush where she was still sore from…- _him_.

Levi gritted her teeth, raising her hand and froze when she saw blood on her fingers. Levi stared at the red for a moment, sighing in recognition. Since being in the corps, she bled slightly more often. All her life before, it had happened only a few times in the year, if barely at all. Levi guessed it must be the better, regular food.

She rinsed her hand, cleaning the insides of her thighs until it was safe enough to get dry and slip inside her uniform, putting a few layers of cloth inside the fabric of her pants.

The crisp morning wind tugged at her hair and uniform as she stepped out on the roof, letting the wooden door fall shut behind her. Levi sensed the smell of rain in the air; a blessing to nature after weeks of no drop falling from the sky, but to Levi it meant puddles of dirty water and mud carried inside the headquarters by the soldiers that soon would begin their training outside.

She shuddered at the thought and went to the edge of the roof, sitting on a stone slap. She has done this since she was dragged here by Erwin. After Farlan and Isabel died that day, she long dreaded the rooftops, for being a reminder of their shared evenings up here. Now it has gotten easier. Every day that passes makes it harder to remember the sounds of their voices, their laughs. Levi wondered for a moment what Erwin would say if he knew she still lockpicks the door to get to the rooftop. She never told him, to be true, and he didn’t seem to have found out about it yet either.

Like he hasn’t found out about her never having fucked someone before. But then, how could he. They never discussed something like this. Levi thought about how his face looked when the possibility must have to cross his mind, after he was already buried inside her.

She shook her head and stood. It’s time she went downstairs and met the others before they woke up and started noticing her absence.

After breakfast was it when Erwin finally saw Levi. The small, piercing grey eyes and his locked while the woman made her way to the training grounds, stepping to him.

“Good morning, Levi.”

“Morning.”

“A supply cart arrived. Go join the others and help unload it and carry everything to the storage shed.”

He could see her open her mouth, and added: “You are in my squad and I am responsible for you. Remember that.”

Levi narrowed her eyes, not speaking and simply nodding instead. He quickly turned his back on her and left, feeling her stare in his back way until he entered the building.

Hours later, a loud bang from outside caused him to snap out of his paperwork. Erwin abruptly lifted his head. The other soldiers in the room eyed each other startled.

“What the-”

That’s when a second bang echoed, prompting Erwin to set his pen down. He left his seat before the others, stepping to the window, staying calm but feeling his heart rise to his throat when he saw smoke rising in the distance – the training grounds.

He took the nearest exit from the building and hurried to the scene, to see soldiers rushing to a waggon – or rather what was left of it. The boxes and cartridges were burst open and scattered in loose wooden planks, all across the grass, even into the woods as far as Erwin could see. The little fires were extinguished already or about to be, and when he got even closer, he could finally see little groups of soldiers caring for hurt comrades. He also saw Mike coming towards him, carrying a limp and unconscious Levi on his arms.

Erwin’s heart stopped a moment, but Mike shook his head reassuringly. “She’s alive. I had to knock her out, though, she went nuts on me.”

Erwin gave him a curt nod, breathing out. “Take her to the infirmary.”

He quickly glanced in Levi’s face, while Mike went by him - taking in the dirt in her face and little trickle of blood running from her nose – and began passing the soldiers, approaching the waggon. A squad member of his, Nelke, lay in the grass – the eyes were open, staring to the sky. The big patch of blood on the chest, with a piece of wood sticking right next to the sternum, right into the heart. A sigh escaped Erwin’s lips.

He sat next to the bed, waiting for Levi to wake up. Levi’s face was cleaned from the dirt and the blood, revealing little bruises and scrapes, a rag lay on her forehead. Carefully, he took it, dipping it into the nearby bowl of water and wringing it out. Right when he placed it again on Levi’s forehead, he saw her move. Screwing up her eyes, she tried to shift on the bed. His hand pressed on her shoulder, holding her down. “Don’t move yet.”

Levi opened her eyes slowly. “…There were explosives.”

“I know.”

“Some were hurt. Nelke died. I couldn’t…” She flinched when she tried to sit up, but his hand was still on her shoulder, pressing her down again. She watched his face, her expression growing grim all of a sudden. “You don’t give a shit, do you?” she said sharply.

“Calm down, Levi.” His other hand clutched her wrist, when hers flew to his collar, getting a hold of his shirt aggressively but weak – shaking, her fingers opened when his tightened. Levi tried to jerk herself free, but his hold was firm. Erwin was silent, letting her rage for a moment and ignoring the swears she threw at him.

“Fuck you, let me go-”

“You have to accept it, Levi.” He spoke, his voice calm but resolute. “This is how it is. People die, and you can’t do anything about it, more often than you like. Hit me, scream, cry… It won’t change anything.”

Erwin heard his own voice sound dull in his ears. His face was unmoving as were his hands, still fixing Levi who stared at him. Her face was hard, Erwin could see the anger in it, still burning and he had to lie, saying it didn’t affect him. Even so, he kept his gaze steady. But seeing the hurt creeping up her features, slowly replacing the murderous look was even harder to bear.

“Let go.” Levi hissed, her voice breaking.

His hand eased on her wrist, and she yanked it out of his grip, slumping down on the mattress.

Erwin watched Levi turn her head to the other side, not looking at him again, leaving him only the view of her jaw, which tensed and shivered. Without saying anything further, he rose from the seat, stepping out of the room.

Evening. The sun was still in the sky, and Levi felt hot.

“Shit…” She raked her hand through her hair, feeling the sweat all over her skin. She had just walked her horse back into the stables after going for a ride, now walking out, shielding her eyes from the orange rays.

Her whole body hurt, especially her head. Mike had reached her when she snapped a few hours back, bearing the full brunt of her breakdown. Levi doesn’t remember much of it, she immediately blacked out when he hit her, not even registering anymore when she landed on the grass. He must have brought her to the infirmary afterwards. She still hadn’t decided whether she should feel embarrassed about it; she hated to lose control like that.

Levi discarded her jacket and opened the knot of her cravat, letting it hang loose around her shoulders, when she reached the building. Inside, it was blissfully cool, thanks to the massive stone walls and ground.

Crossing the tables and benches in the common room, she spotted a tall figure sitting at the window row. Mike.

He turned his head into her direction, alerted by her steps. “Want to join me?”, he asked, nodding to the bottles on the table. “It’s easier to down them in company.”

After thinking for a second, Levi threw her jacket on the bench, stepping to the table. Mike held a bottle in his hand, tilting it as an offer to her.

“Take it as a sorry for knocking you out,” he said calmly. “Hope you don’t blame me.”

Levi reluctantly eyed the bottle, but took it eventually, thanking Mike and sitting down in front of him. “I would have done the same to you.”

He chuckled. “Nice to hear.”

Mike’s company turned out to be surprisingly pleasant. He didn’t talk her ears off or seemed tense, just staring through the window, taking a swig of his bottle once in a while. They ended up downing the rest of the bottles in silence, and Levi didn’t expect to enjoy it that much. Lifting her bottle to her lips one last time, Levi eyed Mike as she emptied it; he returned her glance.

“Follow me,” he urged.

Levi sat to the table and casually rolled up the right sleeve of her grey button-down shirt. Erwin watched the lean, pale forearm and overall slender stance of the woman as she leaned on the table, her arm bend and ready to receive Mikes grip. Said man mimicked her move, and Erwin watched intently as his hand grasped Levi’s. The difference between them was ridiculous – Mike’s hand swallowed the other’s, and his forearm in comparison seemed at least twice as thick. For a fleeting moment, Erwin felt almost uneasy that he agreed to let them do it.

Levi however appeared unimpressed, her eyes locked with Mike’s, without hesitation.

“Three… Two…” Mike counted down, adjusting his hand one final time. “One... Go!”

Mike’s forearm slammed the table. He jumped up in shock, looking at Levi, who pinned his arm down on the wood. Erwin looked to both of them, bewildered, and asked them to do a second round.

The man sat down again and they both got into the initial position. You could see Mike clutching Levi’s hand a bit stronger than the first time. Now, Erwin assumed the counting.

“Three… Two… One… Go!”

This time, it became visible to Erwin how Mike lost to Levi. At Erwin’s go-ahead, he could see the sudden strain on Mike’s muscles as he pushed against Levi’s arm – but hers didn’t move a fraction. It was unreal. Levi gave nothing away, it was like it didn’t even faze her one bit.

It took longer and Mike had to hold on to the edge of the table, to support himself, panting and grunting in complete bafflement. Slowly, Levi levered her arm and forced his down on the table again, an oddly gentle but unyielding strength.

Mike watched her stand up from the table and go to Erwin. Levi stepped close to his body and did what he never would have anticipated – her hands, one of which just succeeded in defeating Mike, grabbed his butt firmly, while her grey-blue eyes pierced his.

Erwin looked down, trying to stay composed, but the change in her expression told him he failed. He felt the blood immediately rush into his groin in response. It didn’t last long; Levi, quickly but calm, turned away and went on towards the door, opening it and simply leaving the room.

He breathed in and out, still processing what the woman just did and faced Mike, who probably looked just as bewildered as Erwin did himself.

“Were you prepared for this?” Mike mused, flexing his hand.

Like he said, Levi kept surprising him every day.


	3. Keeping distance

An exasperated sigh broke the silence again. “Oi.”

Levi was keen on getting his attention, ever since the others left the meeting in the office a few minutes ago. At first, Erwin didn’t want to look up at the small woman. But her... presence in the room was growing more and more distracting, to say the least. He heard Levi shift on the chair she was sitting on, tapping on the desk, not concealing her growing impatience. Still, he was silent, trying to focus on his papers - he didn’t have to, if he was honest. He only wanted to brace himself before he addressed her.

Levi seemed to grow tired of waiting for an answer and stood. Abruptly, she walked towards him, gripping the back of his chair with one hand, which caused him to lean back, staring at her confused. “What is it, Levi?”

“Don’t ignore me, blondie.” He saw the offence in her grey-blue eyes. 

He sighed. “Would you stop call me that?”

“What should I call you, then? Squad leader?,” she grumbled, suddenly annoyed. “Sorry, I got confused, because one moment you stick your dick in me and the next you barely look me in the face.”

He blinked at her, now beginning to understand from her tone and behaviour of the last few days. “What happened between us won’t happen again. It’s important for us to keep our distance, before we get in trouble,” he explained quietly. 

Levi was silent for a while, hovering over him. Then, she took her hand back, nodding slowly. “Understood.”

He was unsure whether her face expressed hurt underneath the frustration or whether he only imagined. Without saying anything further, Levi turned and left the room, slamming the door in the process.

  
  


Weeks passed and Levi fought with pent up frustration and worse, Erwin's distant behaviour, which, considering he was her direct superior, simply made sense. Still, the night in the office had kicked Levi's hormones loose and made her  _ crave  _ this man. Erwin. And it pissed her off. She didn’t want to swoon over him while he probably regretted having fucked her.

Even so, Levi hoped he remembered it every time he did his paperwork. Hunched over the desk plate where she lay on, feeling her around his cock. She hoped he secretly felt want, just like Levi. Guilt, for pushing her away.

Discarding her uniform, Levi pictured him, using every meeting with him since they met. She pictured his intense, light blue eyes which analysed every situation. His big brows which always furrowed slightly. His solemn face, no use guessing his feelings or thoughts.

The folded uniform was placed soundlessly onto the drawer at the foot end of Levi's bed, not to disturb the other women in the room, who were sleeping in their own. Levi was far from sleeping, however. This time, like many other nights before, it weren't nightmares keeping her awake.

The light covers hid her body from the moonshine that spilled onto the mattress. Concealing her hand which crept down her stomach, underneath the covers and past the waistband of her underwear.

Her mind wasn't on her body, still on him. His nose, long and hooked but so fitting in that face of his. Same with the mouth, big lips, always resting in that tight line. 

Levi sent the fingers down the curve of her pelvic, touching the folds of sensitive flesh on the end of their short journey. Bending one leg to the side allowed even better access. Simultaneously, the others kneaded her small breast, thumb stroking the pointy nipple. 

Erwin Smith... The fingers pushed back and forth over the velvet creases, making them more slick and ultimately reducing the friction, pressing the tips down where the most sensitive spot was. Levi pressed her face in the hard pillow, clenching her teeth. Erwin.

One finger dipped inside, quickly visited by two more, stretching her entrance; unsatisfying, he filled her way better.

He had fucked other people before, Levi just knew it. A man like him didn't have a dry cock his whole life. He filled Levi like it was the most mundane thing in the world, a steady thrusting, and controlled pulling out; learned self-restraint.

Levi pushed her fingers deeper, up to the brim, feeling the warm silkiness for a while, wondering what it felt like to him. Was the tightness that unusual? He understood it was her first time, did he feel it somehow?

Why did it matter to her?

Forcing her mind away from that moment, from Erwin entirely, Levi tried to just concentrate on the present; somehow, it was harder, maintaining the same level of arousal just focusing on herself. Maybe that's why she never did this, well until weeks ago. 

Levi went on to fuck herself; pushing the slender fingers in, all the way as far as they allowed, releasing them again only to repeat both parts over and over again. It left her breathless, trying to contain the sighs, taking forever to get off without thinking of Erwin. But she was sick and tired of allowing him so much control over this.

Shuddering, she let the other grip her breasts again, eventually leaving them and thrusting the fingers inside her underwear as well, aiding the others by rubbing her sensitive spot more forcefully; feeling herself getting closer.

Levi bit the pillow to stop the moan from escaping her throat, clenching and twitching as a result of her climax; the thoughts of Erwin finally gone, allowed her to dry her fingers, curl up on the side and drift off to sleep. 

  
  


“Here,” Mike said when they were sitting in the yard of their headquarters one evening, holding a thin envelope between his fingers. 

Levi reached for the envelope, ripping it open and taking out the letter. Once her eyes fell on the clean handwriting, she felt her heart race - and shook her head in response.  _ Stop this for fucks sake. _

_ I am going on a short trip to Stohess for a few days. You can come with me - if you want.  _

_ Dress properly and meet me in the office tomorrow before breakfast.  _

_ -Erwin _

_ PS: I said it won’t happen again, but I need you to know that I don’t regret it in the slightest. _

Levi scoffed, feeling Mike’s eyes on her when she crumpled it up.

“What’s the matter?”, he asked quietly.

Levi shook her head, throwing the ball of paper inside the fire with a groan and watching the flames eating it up. Yet she couldn’t ignore the thumping in her chest, trying to soothe it with a swig of wine. Of course, pointless.

  
  


The next morning, Erwin heard a knock on the door - the sound of it was familiar, only belonging to Levi, and made him quickly open it as if taking too long would send her away and make her change her mind again.

Levi wore a white shirt, with her cravat missing, allowing the full view of her neck. It was tucked underneath the waistband of a slate grey skirt which flowed down until just slightly above her ankles, showing the pale bare skin that wasn’t covered by the black laced-up shoes. Erwin felt his brows slightly lifting and his lips pressing together in appreciation. 

She lifted an eyebrow at him for a greeting. “‘ _ Proper’ _ enough?”

“It looks stunning,” Erwin blurted out, clearing his throat after falling silent; he saw the cool expression mixed with a weak sneer growing on her face. “Yes, it’s appropriate.” 

Levi dropped her head to scan the floor in front of his feet. "Alright… So, can I come in?"

Erwin tried to guess her motivations; reminded by her frustrated outburst here yesterday he hesitated to be alone with her again, as something in this room seemed to make both of them crave each other. It sounded so ludicrous. Erwin knew it wasn't the room, just as he knew it was his fault to begin with - he was the one to initiate this all, by touching Levi even though he wasn't supposed to do it. Even more so, he was glad he pushed Levi away the day before. It needed to be done.

"Actually, the carriage will expect us in the yard, it's better we go there."

"This early?" Levi lifted her head to look in his face, studying it. "I don't think so."

Erwin sighed, somehow knowing Levi would argue further no matter what he'd say and gave up. "Come in." He said, turning to the side to let her enter. It wouldn't take that long, to be fair, and the last thing he needed was developing the habit of avoiding her - that would look more curious to outsiders than any physical thing they could do. 

He closed the door behind her and was surprised to see her walk straight to the chair without glancing at him again. Her hand casually tugged at the fabric of that skirt, smoothening the creases before she sat down.

Erwin hovered at the door, eying her. "Are you not hungry? I could get us something. It's going to take us a while arriving to Stohess."

Levi breathed out, sounding unusually placid. "Tea will do. Thanks." Still, she didn't look at him.

He left to fetch them both tea and some bread, which he didn't have to take long to convince her to eat. Erwin didn't expect, to be honest; Levi was oddly compliant when he placed it in front of her along with one of the two cups of tea, mechanically plucking some small fragments off the piece of bread and sticking them inside her mouth. Erwin took in the dark circles underneath her eyes, which more or less were always there, but now seemed to have deepened.

"Levi, are you-"

"Yeah. Fine," she replied to his unfinished question, letting her eyes shift to his face. "...What?"

"Nothing." Erwin swallowed the content of his cup in a big gulp, as if wanting to flush back down the words he was about to say, glad she'd interpreted it as him asking whether she was okay.

  
  


The carriage stopped, making Levi open her eyes - falling asleep hadn’t been her plan. She sighed, unfolding her arms and stretching her strained neck. The sun was high in the sky, leaving the inside of the carriage in shadows until the door opened, letting the warm air in, dispelling the last remnants of cool morning air. Levi caught a glimpse of Erwin as he stepped out, standing as well. 

Erwin stood next to the door and held his hand out, palm facing up, meant for her to grip it and let him help her out of the carriage.

Levi eyed the pink line that ran across it, smelling rain and disintegrating titan blood as it brought her mind back to the moment she spared his life months ago. The flashback came completely uninvited, and she asked herself how it could be that she saw the scar only now. Had she really been that busy mourning that it didn’t occur to her before? 

"Levi?" His voice disturbed the pictures. Shaking her head, she accepted his offer, climbing out. 

She was in Stohess - for the first time again since joining the corps. 

“We’ll stay in my family’s house.” Erwin’s voice rang, shaking her out of the preoccupied state of mind this damn city threw her in all the time. He didn’t seem to notice, or he did and chose to ignore it. 

“Oh,” she voiced, stopping when they approached a house in one of the neighborhoods. “Is anyone there?”

“My father is long dead, and my mother died shortly after I enlisted. I’m the only heir - theoretically, I could sell it, since I’m almost never here, but...”

He fell quiet for a short while, Levi could see surprise on his face when she finished his sentence. 

“But you don’t have the heart to do it.”

Erwin turned to her, still quiet. “Yes, I suppose.” He fitted a key in the lock of the reddish brown door and opened it, picking up his bag again and stepping inside.

For a few moments, Levi lingered outside, her eyes trailed the front of the house before following Erwin, who closed the door behind her, making them two the only people in this building.

The interior was modest and what Levi expected; the door first led into the biggest room of the house, from the looks of it. A few dark wooden cabinets, water pump and basin, wooden floor, a few windows behind white lace curtains, a round table in the middle of the room, three chairs.

She silently followed an equally calm Erwin into a corridor, past the small bathroom and another room - Erwin’s old room, perhaps - inside the bedroom where they probably would spent the next night, a thought that managed to close her throat in a surge of some kind of nervousness. Firstly, because of the remnants of Erwin’s family that she knew would make her feel like an intruder, but mostly because secondly, Erwin and her would most likely share a bed. With a fifty percent chance of disregarding Erwin’s talk about keeping their relationship professional. Yeah.

Levi went to the bed, gripping the wooden footboard with her hands. The air in her lungs came out in a quiet sigh. "Erwin." 

He turned to her, his eyes apprehensive. "Yes?"

Levi steadied her gaze. "I will follow you, no matter what." It was the most simple way of assuring him that that what hovered between them wouldn’t chip at her devotion to him.

Erwin seemed to understand. He nodded briefly, meeting her gaze.

Much sooner than she appreciated, evening came, and they sat in a bar. A great idea after what happened between them when they last had a drink together - she knew that, but they had an agreement, and planning on making a move on Erwin now, she had put aside for good.

“What is your last name?” Erwin asked her after their supposedly last drink, trying to regain Levi’s attention; her eyes were narrowed and studying someone behind his back a good while now. “You never told me.”

“I don’t know,” she mumbled. “No one told me either.”

Erwin made a “hmm” sound, surely not knowing what to feel about that fact. “Your life in the Underground... ,” he started, thinking out loud. He didn’t have an opportunity to really dwell on the topic, because before he could, Levi threw him under the table with her, her quick reaction to the dull shine of a gun this someone pulled out, aiming towards them. 

“Shit,” she hissed when seeing the smear of blood on her palm, unsure whether it was her own or Erwins, not caring, and taking the knife she had with her. It didn’t made her sweat, dealing with the guy that attacked them. However, when she saw the blood on her knife, she felt disgusted by herself. She quickly wiped it off his shirt, not spending time debating whether she should know this person.

Erwin looked up at Levi, when she stepped to the table, gripping his arm that was the source of the blood. He was shot; only a graze though.

Without thinking, Levi ripped a piece of her sleeve to use it as a bandage. 

“No-”

“Shut up. I have plenty of ‘em...” Levi wrapped it around Erwin’s upper arm in a few swift motions. “Let’s get the hell away before the MP come here.”

Erwin nodded, rising to his feet guided by Levi as they made their way outside and through the dark street, evading the alerted residents. 

  
  


He sat on the bed, while Levi hushed out of the room; he could hear doors and drawers open and close. After a while of searching, she entered the bedroom again, her one hand carrying a bowl, a small bottle of liquid, alcohol, in the other and a piece of cloth was draped over her forearm. Erwin unwound the strip of her sleeve around his arm, the blood stained the once white fabric red. 

“Take off your shirt,” Levi spoke while he did that, placing her utensils neatly on the nightstand. After lighting the candle that rested on there as well, she sterilised her hands, cleaning the blood off his arm with the piece of cloth.

Erwin watched her sterilising the needle at last, before stepping close to him. 

“Lay your hand on my shoulder.”

He shifted his eyes up, looking at her. Levi seemed to understand his hesitation and simply rolled her own, “Just prop your arm up.”

Erwin placed his hand loosely on her shoulder, while she lifted her knee on the bed next to him. Her hands worked on the stitching - he gritted his teeth on the first sting when she pushed the needle through, but soon got used to it, letting his focus shift on his hand lying on Levi’s shoulder. They didn’t speak about anything that happened in that bar. His face was only a few centimeters away from her chest.

Her hands finally put the bandage around his upper arm. He tried to escape her closeness, her soft streams of breath on his face, her warmth resting between the small gap of their bodies, making him sweat more than the lingering summer heat in the room. Somehow, she managed to slip closer, almost coming to sit on his leg while her fingers tied the small ends to a knot, with Erwin trying to contain his sudden arousal.

Levi backed away, her eyes now fell on the sweat on his brow and low hanging lids.

“Hey, don’t fall unconscious, alright?”

“...It’s just the adrenalin, it’s winding down...”

Levi took her knee off the bed and stood, going towards the foot end, crouching down and rummaging through her bag. She came back to him, standing in front of him and holding a small little ball between her thumb and index finger. “Eat that. It will get your circulation going.” 

Erwin let her shove the ball between his lips. The sudden sweetness let saliva flood his mouth, starting to melt the piece of sugar on its own before his tongue could push it around. He let it become smaller and smaller, until it eventually broke down completely. Levi watched him the whole moment, and this time he couldn't slip away from her.

Giving in to the impulse, his hands rose, settling on her waist and tugging her closer. Levi tilted her head, gripping his shoulders as he searched for her lips; he found them, eagerly pressing his on top. It was all a matter of few seconds.

She bristled in surprise, slightly jerking away. "What the hell?," he heard Levi gasp. 

Without answering, he simply closed the gap between their faces and brushed her lips again, a bit slower than the first time, almost like a question. It was superficial, giving her the opportunity to return it. And she did, meanwhile running her hands up, past his neck and into his hair, making Erwin quickly deepening the shallow kiss.

The voice of reason in Erwin's mind screamed at him for allowing this intimacy once again. He calmly tolerated it; deciding they both were past the point where it could have still saved them. He left her mouth, but his fingers lingered on her waist, itching to feel her skin.

“You know what…?” Erwin whispered against her lips, wet and sticking sweet from the sugar. “You’ve won.”

Question was etched into Levi’s face, “What about the ‘keeping our distance’ part?”

Erwin looked at her. “I’m willing to take risks.” 

He saw the change in her face, gripping his head more firmly and leaning close again. Their lips met in a heated kiss, initiated by Levi and it seemed to Erwin, all their bottled up emotions and all the tension between them which had piled up since that night in the office found their outlet right in this moment. 

His hands promptly pulled her shirt open, popping some buttons in the process, while she helped shrugging it off, dropping it on the floor - it was ruined anyway. Erwin made her bump against his torso, skin smacking on skin, as his hands clenched on Levi’s back, leaving bruises on her. 

His tongue flicked against her flesh several times, making her cry out. That was when he let his fingers stroke her, starting to feel the different kind of wetness, which originated from her insides, lubing her for what might enter her.

And he thought his fingers could be a good start.

Levi cried out for the second time, as he put his thinking into action, letting his index and middle finger penetrate her. Her eyes laid on him, heavy with pleasure, as she settled down again, and he genuinely enjoyed watching Levi squirm. Apparently, she was impatient; after a moment, she lifted her own hand, trying to get off on her own - too bad he didn’t allow that, yet.

He stopped her hand by closing his fingers around her wrist, taking one finger out of her.

"Please…!" He finally could hear Levi groan even more impatiently, lifting her hips to meet his knuckle, clearly hoping to have his finger slide deeper - a wish unfulfilled; as he teased her by caressing her entrance, slipping away as well. "Erwin!" 

He gripped her other hand trying to touch herself, denying her this chance of release, too. 

“Why don’t you try again, Levi?,” he suggested, smiling. He didn’t know what it was that enjoyed driving her over the edge, but he did, and Levi seemed to play along, which made him even more into it.

She whimpered, throwing her head back. “Fuck me!”, she exclaimed. “Erwin, please… fuck me.”

Hearing Levi moan like that made him willing to grant her wish, after all. Without hurry, he unbuckled his pants, even though he could barely hold himself any longer. She lay in front of him waiting, soaking wet, her whole body shaking with pleasure and anticipation and once he was out of his pants, he held them off the bed, letting go.

They just hit the floor when he was grabbed half-way by her strong hands while he was shifting closer towards her, climbing and resting on top of her. Levi's clutch on him tightened, and he positioned himself; a whimpering grunt left her throat when he pushed in, or rather slipped in. 

From the beginning, Erwin was thrusting hard, his hips whipping Levi, fully intending to give her the release she begged of the whole time. It shook the whole bed they were lying on, entangled and sticky from sweat. 

Levi pushed her fingers into his back, and it hurt; but the wet and silky hotness around his cock was the balm. So was her mouth hungrily kissing his neck, her clenching and moaning, jolting through him.

Erwin humped her sloppily, pushing his upper body off her, leaning onto his arm which started to signal him a sharp pain. Levi's voice rang in his ear, but he already collapsed, feeling his consciousness dwindle.

  
  


Erwin opened his eyes, feeling fingers petting his hair and making out light glowing skin in the corner of his eye. The candle on the nightstand was still burning, albeit having molten the majority of the wax.

He quickly realised he apparently had spent some time sleeping on Levi, whose chest and, partly, shoulder he was resting his head on. Trying to lift his head, he failed, her fingers in his hair didn't permit.

"What happened?" Erwin heard himself whisper, smelling Levi's sweat on her neck, feeling drained yet satisfied.

"We fucked, you came inside me and fell unconscious. I thought you died for a second," she said casually, making his head spin and heat rising up to his cheeks, blushing like a little boy.

“I’m sorry.”

Levi gripped his chin, holding up his face off her chest. “What for?” she said, in her eyes a shimmer of amusement. “We have plenty of time for another round, no?”

Erwin stared into her eyes, a stormy sky during noon, and kissed her. And again, and again; each time more tender and slow and intimate.

Levi pushed him on his back, looking at him in a playfully chiding way, like saying 'take it easy'. She managed to keep slipping out of his touch, planting multiple kisses on his chest, his neck.

When she teased him kissing his stomach, he sighed, feeling himself twitch underneath her, growing hard again. "Is that payback for earlier?", he hummed.

Levi trailed her tongue up his body, crawling to his mouth, placing a kiss on his lips - they became uncountable already. "Exactly," she breathed.

Her mouth travelled downwards again, this time not stopping at his stomach. Erwin felt the wet tongue again, nudging the tip of his cock, making him hiss at the initial sensation. After swirling his glans with her tongue, Levi let him dip his cock inside her mouth, soothing, warm and incredibly smooth; just like between her legs. He ached for her to take him deeper, as she bopped her head up and down in short intervals, sucking eagerly.

She abruptly stopped, making him groan and twitch again, almost painfully hard. Again, Levi kissed her way up to his mouth languidly, pressing her lips on top.

Her hand caught his which was about to grip himself, forbidding him a slight release.

"Levi, please," he begged against her lips, taking in the way they curved into a grin. 

They both knew how this would turn out.

"Please what?" She purred back, leading his hand up to her face, sliding his index finger inside her mouth without breaking eye contact; sucking and licking on it, before leaving it and taking his middle finger next, still not avoiding his gaze. This was the hand he had used to finger her, playing with her like she did with him now. It was driving him insane.

"Fuck me," he repeated her own words. “Please.”

Levi left his hand wordlessly and he drew a breath, thinking she maybe would be showing him mercy, unlike he did with her. Her fist closed loosely around his shaft, slightly moving her fingers up and down. She settled next to his torso, bowing down to his groin; he viewed Levi watching her own fingers wrapping his cock, gripping the base and again moving up, until his tip disappeared inside her fist. When it peeped out again, Levi took it inside her mouth, making him sigh. Her fist slid down his length, followed by her lips as she did take him deeper. Then, when her hand reached the base, her mouth moved up again, followed by her fist this time, repeating the whole movement anew.

He swore, his hand stroking her arm. Levi picked up the rhythm of her sucking, as if the obscenity from his mouth enticed her, which only succeeded in him following with another curse.

Erwin grunted, feeling himself getting nearer - and felt her drawing away, abandoning his throbbing cock.

He pressed his lips together, drawing in a sharp breath as she straddled him seconds later, looking down to his overwhelmed face - the grey-blue eyes flashed at him. “Why don’t you try again?”, Levi voiced his exact words.

Erwin soon learned that Levi had a different goal in mind. She lowered herself on his body, his tip brushing her entrance provocatively. Trapping him in her fist again, stroking up and down, Levi repeated exactly what she did with her mouth before. 

A groan escaped his mouth, turning into a whimper - his cock was painfully hard, dipping inside Levi, all by her guide. “Levi…”

“Want to come?” Her hand squeezed his base, still tugging on him and throwing him back on the hill, not letting him fall off the edge.

“Yes,” he shouted, hurriedly, “yes, Levi!” 

She slid down onto him languidly, riding on his lap as he felt himself getting close. Levi put her mouth on his, making him fall deep down into the depths and meeting him at the bottom.  



	4. Warm bodies

_-Months later-_

"Why the fuck are we on a mission at this time of the year?"

Levi pulled the fur-lined hood further down, to shield her face from the wild snowflakes. The wind was cuttingly sharp, trying to push past her thick uniform.

Mike and her were alone, on their way to a stone building which had the potential of becoming a new outpost, connecting two routes in the north of Wall Maria. They were told to inspect the object, and return to the base camp at the other outpost. Erwin's voice rang in her head, when they stood together after the briefing with Shadis, asking her to be safe and evade titans that weren't an immediate threat. Amongst other things.

She could hear Mike approaching on his horse. "Titans are usually less active in colder weather."

Levi turned to him. "Understandable. If I were a titan, I would sleep through winter, for sure."

Mike chuckled back at her, pulling up until he rode by her side. His eyes were barely visible from under his hood and blonde bangs as well. They were greasy, just as hers and basically everyone else's at the base. The worst thing for Levi, apart from casualties. By now, they were outside the walls for a good week or so, and it was their second time building a camp. The last time they had seen soap and a proper shower was at the headquarters before riding out.

"How many of these ugly fuckers are there, what do you guess?" Levi asked to keep herself occupied, scanning the surroundings; all they faced was white against more, greyish white, she couldn't see far - and that made her nervous, expecting to run into something every metre they put behind themselves. 

_Did you two feel that way when I left you back then..?_

Not long until they should reach that building, at least.

Mike hummed thoughtfully. "Probably more than humans."

"Has to be, right…" Levi wanted to pick up speed, but Mike held out his arm suddenly, signalling her to stop.

"Wait, I smell some."

Levi turned to him, seeing him lifting his nose and followed his direction where he pointed towards with her eyes, attempting to make out some silhouettes but seeing only white. If he wasn't mistaken, they were lucky to have his sense of smell. 

"Should we keep going?"

"They're approaching fast. I think we might fight. Get yourself ready."

Levi took her grips, still watching alerted. Soon, the wall of snow gave away tall figures. Mike's nose was right - three four meter titans staggered in their direction; making noises upon seeing them.

She locked her eyes with Mike's briefly, nodding as they prepared to take them out.

They split; Levi rode to the left, Mike to the right. Standing onto her horse's back, Levi equipped herself with a set of blades; shooting the hooks precisely into its neck and flying past it, slicing the neck and retracting the hooks again after using her momentum to swing to the second titan.

When she tried to grab onto the second one, her gear didn't respond to the triggers, for some reason. It was only seconds in mid air and Levi felt massively screwed, albeit preparing for the landing - she couldn't do anything else.

"Shit!"

Stabbing both her blades into its back saved her from crashing to the floor beneath. With the Titan flailing around in response, trying to shake her off its back, Levi slammed against it several times, having the air knocked out of her lungs.

A moment later, she could feel hot blood splashing all over her from just above - Mike had sliced its neck, making it start to drop onto the icy floor.

Levi quickly abandoned the blades, jumping off its back before it could crush her. The frozen ground made it impossible for her to land on it smoothly; the force of her landing made her trip, skidding on the frozen ground and rolling over a few times until she stopped on her stomach. 

Feeling the snow stinging beneath her cheek, she opened her eyes when Mike grabbed her by the arm and helped lifting her up. Everything throbbed in pain, as she managed to get on her feet, tried to concentrate on his words.

"You okay?," Mike asked.

Levi nodded, the storm was getting worse and she looked at him. "What do we do?"

He looked around, "We stay the night, hopefully the weather will calm down until dawn."

"What about the others? They'll think something happened."

"Yeah, but we won't see anything in the dark if we return now, it'll be pitch black soon."

As much as Levi hated to admit, he was right.

  
  


The door closed behind them, blocking out the whirl of snow. Both Mike and Levi needed to push in order to open it - this badly was the lock frozen. Luckily, it opened, else they would have needed to use Mike's gear to climb through a window. Staying outside obviously wasn't an option. They guided the horses further into the building, climbing the stairs, carefully placing their steps to not slip on the snow sticking to their boots.

They began preparing a camp for the night; gathering rubble to make a fire on the stone ground; unpacking their equipment they took from their horses downstairs.

Levi inspected her gear, in order to find what caused it to fail to respond earlier. The ignition that made fire the grapple-hooks seemed to be broken; making Levi hope they won't run into more Titans tomorrow.

Mike, in the meantime, succeeded in getting a flame started, blowing air and placing more burnables on it to make it grow.

"Fuck…" He heard Levi utter and shiver, as she peeled the pieces of her uniform off, now drenched as the snow covering them has gradually melted, soaking the layers. Making sure the fire stayed on, he began undressing as well, putting the clothes next to Levi's, near the heat of the fireplace. 

They sat around the fire, waiting to get warmer and shivering heavily. Levi kept swearing in a low voice, until she fell silent, still shaking and sniffling.

Mike was bearing the cold a little better, even though he didn’t stop shaking as well despite curling to a ball tightly. His eyes shifted to his comrade who was rolled up as well, pressing her blue lips against one of her arms that were holding her knees.

He broke the silence after a while. "We might be better off sharing body warmth," he suggested.

Levi hesitated. Then she shook her head to dispel a thought, it seemed. 

Mike reassured her: "Erwin and I are close. I'm not taking his girlfriend."

Levi furrowed her brows, before turning her face away. "I'm not his girlfriend."

Mike chuckled, growing serious again. "Well?" he spread his arm out, encouraging her. "I mean it. Let's warm ourselves up."

Levi clenched her jaw, giving in and crawling next to him; lying down with him awkwardly. Their icy skin touched, and Mike did his best to keep his groin away from her body which was as sparsely clothed as his. He reached his arm across her shoulders, keeping his touch as professional yet warming as possible - which turned out to be a difficult balancing act.

At first, Levi was tense, breaking out in a tremble every once in a while, as slowly she tawed up when warmth began slowly building up between them and she pushed against him more, her arm sliding around his upper body while he mimicked the move.

Mike could smell her own scent beneath the lingering smell of the titans they slayed a few hours ago. Missions outside the walls left them little time cleaning themselves properly. Levi was most standing out, however; at the base, she always smelled extraordinarily clean, and usually kept that even on missions, to a certain degree.

He could also smell Erwin faintly on her; to him it revealed them having touched, most likely still this morning. Mike felt almost like digging too much into their privacy, but he also knew he couldn't help it so there was no sense in feeling guilty.

"I'm glad he doesn't favour you when it comes to the missions."

Levi sighed. "Why should he?"

"Because you’re his girlfriend," he teased, though only half-jokingly, drawing a sharp breath when she decked him in the stomach.

"Mind your business, Mike."

"I do. But I hope you know he'll put his duty over you, if he has to."

Levi was silent for a while, then saying matter-of-factly, "I know. Humanity comes first."

He felt Levi casually stretch out her legs and slide them between his; feeling her cold feet at his calves, which warmed up gradually. After that, they fell silent. Mike listened to the snow storm outside and to the cracking of the fire, feeling more tired by each second, it was a long day after all. When he shifted his head to look at her, she had closed her eyes, making him almost believe Levi was asleep already - but the frown on her features told a different story.

  
  


Levi woke up, disoriented and stiff. She stared directly at Mike’s naked chest - only now realising what led up to them sleeping like this. He snored, probably that was the reason she woke.

Mike also had clutched her, holding her body close. Levi tried not to focus too much on the details of the situation; them both smelling like dead rats, his morning erection leaning against her, the grease and dirt sticking to their skin.

Her hand pinched his nose, and he woke abruptly, backing away and watching Levi sit, retrieving her clothes which she pulled on. They had dried completely, much to her liking.

"Levi?", she heard Mike grumble with a sleep ladden voice, getting dressed as well.

"Huh?", she replied, finishing with buttoning up her shirt.

"We'll have a future outside the walls, one day," Mike started, following with something that made Levi's pulse rise. "You will get to spend it with Erwin."

One of the things Levi had already been able to learn about Mike and that they have in common: their clumsy way of expressing what they think and feel. Levi knew what he wanted her to know and simply nodded, appreciatively. "Thanks."

  
  


Luckily, they didn't encounter any titans on their way back to the camp. The weather cleared over night, the rising sun even managed to break through the clouds.

Relieved and surprised Soldiers greeted them upon arrival, wanting to know if they were alright, prying for information. Replying curtly, Levi scanned over their heads, only searching for that blonde hair. 

Then, she found him approaching, seeing the tension in his features, which fell off at once as he lay his eyes on them, her specifically, at least Levi liked to imagine that.

Levi dismounted her horse, scratching it behind its ears to fight her impulse to grip Erwin and kiss him in front of their comrades, out of two reasons, only one related to her bad smell. She wanted to keep a low profile about whatever they were; maybe Mike was right, but _that_ word irked her somehow. "Welcome back," he said to Mike and her, "You two probably want to settle first."

Erwin spoke the words while looking to the other soldiers, who were getting the indirect order and started to retreat. He turned his gaze at Mike who stepped towards him, patting his paw on the man's shoulder.

They had a habit of doing stuff like this, using body language instead of words and Levi didn't know why she payed so close attention to that specific exchange.

Erwin nodded, returning a similar pat on the upper arm of Mike, before facing her. "Mind joining me at my tent?," he whispered with a slight softer look in his eyes.

Levi flashed at him, "Yeah, just let me bring my horse to the stables first."

He replied with a curt smile, just as she tugged at the reins.

  
  


"Anything on the agenda today?" Levi asked, wiping her lips after spitting a mouthful of herb paste and water in the snow, relieved at this fresh feeling of a clean mouth - what a world of difference to before. 

"Mhh," Erwin made while rolling up some maps on the small table in the back of the tent, "if you want, you can give me a report on your trip, but Mike will write one himself anyway. What happened? Are you hurt?"

"Well, it was one hell of a night." She placed the toothbrush back in her pouch. "Mike saved my ass from a titan. I'm fine, only a bit ruffed up."

Erwin turned on the little stool, looking at her again with that soft expression she didn't recall seeing before. "Good. All night I couldn't sleep, thinking about you."

Levi nodded, not able to say she felt the same.

  
  


In the late evening, minutes after the last soldiers disappeared into their tents, Erwin and Levi remained sitting in front of the fireplace, watching the flames die down. They had yet to close the space between them, a habit they built mutually - or rather behaviour they never cared to change to begin with. One had to make the first move and it was Erwin; he slid closer on the log, until their open knees touched fleetingly. The small space between their thighs was occupied by her hand - he covered it with his palm.

"Aren't you tired?," she whispered, turning her hand around and interlacing the fingers with his. The difference in their build was summed up pretty clearly by that - even though her hands weren't fragile, in comparison to his it almost seemed like they were on the brink of breaking. Her callouses came from years of fighting in the streets and escaping the Military Police, while his formed during rides on his horse and being a soldier.

Levi felt his eyes on her face now. She was silent, lifting their joined hands onto her lap, finally returning his gaze.

Erwin hummed in response to her question, leaning closer until she could feel his breath warmly caressing her face. "I'd very much like to use the time and spend it with you. Do you want to?", he whispered; she understood and felt shivers of excitement.

"...Let's wash up first." Levi got up, unwinding her fingers from his only reluctantly.

  
  


The river had a loop where the dark water was relatively still - the perfect spot. It wouldn’t be very pleasant for sure but Levi was willing to do it for what would probably follow in Erwin's tent. They both reeked after all and it were only a few minutes of freezing.

Levi peeled the coat of the uniform off her, shuddering violently already. She hated the cold, the snow, she despised everything about winter. Clearly, nature wanted them to suffer as much as possible.

Her hands pushed through buttons, sliding more and more shielding fabric off her skin.

Erwin had a different approach to the matter; while Levi undressed in a controlled manner, hoping to get used to the cold with each discarded piece, Erwin hurried out of his uniform, jumping into the dark river and letting the water engulf his body fully. Levi felt a gasp hitch in her throat when seconds passed of him not breaking through the surface, making her consider going after him. She had just formed her decision when the water on the spot he had disappeared moved.

“Erwin, are you crazy?!” Levi hissed when he resurfaced again, ruffing his hair.

“Very crazy,” Erwin said calmly but breathlessly, blowing puffs of air out which diffused in visible clouds into the air. Levi watched him lost for words, still not recovered from the bewilderness; taking in his muscular chest, neck, shoulders, and the blotchy red on them. The little trickle and drops of water glistened dully in the light of the moon. He looked at her in invitation, smiling. “Well?”

Levi snorted, “Like hell I’ll jump in there.” 

Erwin rubbed his face. “It’s not that bad. You’ll get used to it quickly.”

“You can freeze to death alone,” Levi retorted playfully, folding her arms defiantly.

She watched him pout for a blink of a moment; it looked absolutely ridiculous. “I’ll reward you,” he promised. “When we get back.”

Levi let an eyebrow jump. Of course, he meant sex, only which sort of made her wonder. Nevertheless, it was convincing enough.

She started stripping the few remaining pieces of her uniform, feeling Erwin’s keen eyes on her the whole time. “You better,” Levi told him, before leaving her last piece of clothing with Erwin’s and leaping into the black river as well. 

He languidly narrowed the distance between them, when she rose to the surface again, spitting water. The icy air filled her lungs as she took a sharp gasp, running her hands through her wet strands of hair. She felt the goosebumps form on every inch of her skin immediately, overwhelmed by shivers. 

“Liar,” Levi muttered, wrapping her arms around herself and rubbing. “It’s worse than I thought.”

Erwin reached out, cupping her face with both hands and stealing a quick kiss from her. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Levi mumbled against his lips, feeling him calmly brush her hard nipples when his hands traveled down her front. “I’d like to accept my reward now.”

She felt his hum vibrating below her earlobe, where his cold mouth tickled her skin. “Let’s go, then.”

  
  


They washed themselves hurriedly and dressed in their uniforms again, making their way back to the camp, not buckling their pants because they would open them again anyway when they arrived at Erwin’s tent.

After the tent was sealed shut and the last gusts of cold air banned outside, they knelt in front of each other, facing. For the second time, they discarded their uniform, peeling the fabric off their damp and chilly skin. Levi was gladly accepting his help and gave him a hand as well; she dodged his kiss and crawled towards his layers of quilts, completely naked, bending forward to straighten them up - Levi was barely finished, when she felt him creeping up behind her, making her jump softly at his touch and letting him pull her back up to him by her hip, feeling his cock harden against her ass as he hovered over her. The thought of having him slip inside her from behind and taking her promptly, while she was on her fours, was enough on its own to make her start getting wet. 

"What a nice view," he hummed, pressing his face against the soft curve of her neck and shoulder.

“Tch,” Levi complained, while he covered her shoulder and neck with fleeting kisses, making her moan nevertheless. “We have to talk about your crappy bed-making skills. Isn’t that part of training?”

“I waited for you to say something like that,” Erwin sighed, seeing his smile when she crawled between the quilts and lay down.

He joined her while she held it open, her hands guided him into an embrace. "And yes, it is part of basic training, before you choose a branch."

Levi looked at him disapprovingly, silently judging his lack of order and feeling him wrap his arms around her, as well, holding her tightly to his chest. "Pathetic.”

Erwin uttered a quiet chuckle. “Bear with me, please.”

She accepted his kiss, a little peck, which was barely satifying and seemed innocent in contrast to their proximity. Shifting half on top of Erwin, Levi kissed him back, opening her mouth and running her small tongue over his lips.

Her hand delved into his wet hair when she drew away. "Kiss me properly, asshole.”

Erwin shoved her on her back, rolling on top of Levi and pinning her down on the quilt, albeit not resting his full weight on her. He caught her gaping mouth, smothering her gasp and parting his lips as well this time and letting her shove her tongue in between, clashing with his for a while. They found a fierce rhythm of brushing their tongues and lips together. 

Wiggling underneath him, Levi tried to have their hips align, having the urge to feel his cock on her pulsating flesh, but he was too heavy, also, they had an agreement. 

Of course, he noticed and pushed up - stretching his arms more and creating a gap between their bodies, ending their kiss. Erwin leaned on one arm and caressed her front with the other hand; she bent her arms as well, lifting her upper body half upright.

Their eyes locked, his brows jumped at the look in her face, covering one of her breasts with his palm. “Why so aggressive?,” he hummed in amusement.

Levi tugged her knees up and bent her legs open, pointing down with her eyes and looking at him again, demonstratively. “My patience is running low.”

He twisted the corners of his mouth; his fingers stopped kneading her breast and dragged down, withdrawing at her lower abdomen and sliding around her thigh. “Well, in that case…,” Erwin sighed and sunk down, kneeling between her legs and hunching over her. His hand pushed her leg to the side and she felt that as a stretch on her folds. Levi breathed in sharply, feeling her arms tremble as he kissed her chest; give in and letting her slump down on the quilt as he pressed his fingers against her folds, his thumb on her sensitive nub. 

A sob-like breath escaped Levi’s mouth. Erwin fondled with her flesh, while slowly circling her spot with his thumb. His mouth met her chest again, licking and sucking on her pointy nipples and even harder on her skin, marking her there. She groaned and quivered, her hands flew to his head, his neck and shoulders, searching for a place to rest on. 

“Stop, stop!”, she pressed through her teeth, when he did the same on her neck. 

Erwin froze, pulling away entirely, kneeling down in front of her. Levi sat up as well, covering her neck with a hand. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

Levi shook her head, gripping his shoulder. “It’s fine.” She drew her hand back, looking at him. “How about I take care of you, for a change?,” she suggested, nodding at his groin and the upright cock. “That little buddy looks impatient, if you ask me,” she added.

Erwin jerked his brows up. “‘ _Little buddy_ ’,” he repeated, watching her lie onto her stomach and crawling on his lap, taking his shaft and kissing it, up until reaching the spongy tip and placing a kiss on it as well. It was wet at the little hole, and she tasted salt on her lips. 

Levi took him inside her mouth, working her way down on his cock, until feeling his tip hitting the back of her throat. Her gag reflex wanted to have a saying in the matter, but Levi forced it silent, listening to Erwin’s attempt of suppressing a moan when she released him and began blowing him eagerly. There was something so simple to this way of pleasure, and Levi enjoyed giving it to Erwin, more so than letting him go down on her. They did it every time they were alone, it came especially handy in the office or when they didn’t have any handkerchiefs. It was quick, too. No need for preparation and little mess. 

As usual, Levi let him finish in her mouth, pushing away the small feeling of disgust when it gushed on her tongue and instead focused on not spilling anything when she drew back. Quickly, she swallowed everything he gave her, wiping her lips on her wrist. She couldn’t help it, her skin always crawled at the aftermath. 

Erwin eyed her and waited, then, as she sat up, he stroked her swollen lips with his thumb, though not leaning in for a kiss. “I still have to reward you,” he said with a murmur.

Giving her a push, he made her lie on her back again, sinking down her front. When his head reached her groin, Levi scowled. "I'm not clean."

"You are," he whispered back, trailing the insides of her thighs with his mouth, stopping here and there to kiss her skin. "You just don't smell of soap."

He didn’t put it on her folds right away, instead, Erwin nudged her thighs with his knuckles, making her open them more and letting out a shaking breath when he lightly brushed them between her legs, watching them come off slick. That’s when he shoved his face between her thighs, making her gasp when she could feel his tongue parting her hot folds. Erwin was relentless, burying his tongue inside her for a few seconds, stroking her, before drawing away, planting kisses on her thighs again and returning to her aching core. 

At this rate, he would make her come. Before, she had to try again this time, wanting to be close in another way they already had been several times before. Decidedly, she gripped his chin, and lifted his mouth off her, ending the way he sucked her folds; she shuddered at the smacking sound and at the view of his face, covered in her wetness. 

"I want to feel your cock in my cunt," Levi whispered, blurting it out the first time. Another woman maybe would have phrased it not as coarsely, but she didn't care.

Stohess had been the last time they fucked like this; Erwin came inside her then, feeling guilty about it afterwards, when they returned to the headquarters and had to pretend like nothing happened. After that, they only pleasured themselves a couple of times, using their hands and mouths, depending on the circumstances. And it was good, but this… this was the most intimate they could get. 

Levi remembered the hushed talks they had after Stohess, cutting on this. How often she had wanted this and didn't get it. Erwin assured Levi he wanted her as well, but he was afraid of coming inside her again, perhaps even getting her pregnant in the end.

He brought it up again. Levi was silent, and he lay next to her, making her believe that was it. Still, Erwin spread out an arm, draping it around her shoulders and she sunk against him. Levi propped her cheek on his torso with a short sigh and just closed her eyes, swallowing the arguments. 

"I trust you, Erwin," she whispered, not wanting to argue.

At first, he didn’t respond. What was he feeling, thinking? Levi felt as though he considered her words after all. In the end, guessing wouldn’t get her anywhere. Several seconds passed and Levi could sense him struggling. 

“Alright,” he gave in, shifting to look her in the face. “We can try.”

Levi stared back; feeling her heart flutter all of a sudden and only managing to nod.

She moved first, lying on her back like so many times this night. Their eye contact didn’t break; she parted her legs for him. He mounted her, grabbing her thighs and bending her legs so he could fit in between. One of his hands closed around his cock, guiding himself to her entrance and steadily pushing inside, making her envelop him smoothly. 

“I missed this,” Erwin breathed, carefully resting his body between her thighs, not moving for a while.

“Me too,” Levi uttered, looking up in his face, her hands stroked his cheeks in silence; it wouldn’t have bothered her much if they lingered like that.

He leaned closer, pausing when he was about to meet her lips. "Can I kiss you?," he asked, lifting a corner of his mouth when she offered her cheek to him.

Levi closed her eyes. "I don't know, can you?" 

Erwin lifted one hand and brushed the dark damp strands of hair out of her face, leaving the fingers entangled in them. He placed a slow peck on her cheekbone, tilting his head to the side and smooching up to her lips, ending up grazing them unexpectedly tender. 

He finally started rocking his hips, not leaving her mouth while he slowly slid in and out. She didn’t know why he was so gentle. It was like a different Erwin, not the one that had fucked her sore in the office or all over that bed in his home in Stohess. Levi could taste herself on his mouth. It was disgusting, but strangely arousing, just like the squelching sound of his cock going in and out between her legs.

“Harder,” she begged against his lips, sobbing in pleasure when she felt him grind deeper and more forcefully, pushing his fingers into her hair and stroking her head.

Levi dug the balls of her feet into the quilt, trying to gain footing and counter his thrusts; she managed, for a while, and he groaned, shaking his head and caging her hip with both hands. “Come for me,” he moaned hushed and pulled her off the ground, letting their hips smack together. 

He knelt to pound into her, making Levi toss her head back and whimper breathlessly. “Fuck--!”

She felt how Erwin took his cock out of her, bedding Levi down gingerly while she convulsed. It was so hard keeping quiet, but somehow she managed. Her eyes met Erwin’s while calming down, he had just clutched himself, squeezing his cock.

"Wait. Let me do it."

During her words, Levi replaced his hand with hers and sat up, pumping his cock with swift strokes. He moaned, still kneeling between her thighs, his thrusts started again as she countered them with forceful movements of her wrist, jerking him off. It didn’t take long; her fingers felt his cock twitch and merely seconds after, Erwin came through her fingers, his hot come spurted past them, landing in splatters onto her breasts, running down to her stomach. Some had dripped on her fingers, as well, making a sticky mess of them. She tugged at his cock, bending her upper body and leaning back on her arm. 

“Come here,” she breathed, guiding him to her mouth and sucking the tip clean of the remaining drops, tasting herself again, more intense and mingled with the salty flavour belonging to him. Erwin drew away, fetching a handkerchief and offering it to her; he sunk beside her, spent, watching her as she wiped herself. 

“...Levi.” She heard him mumble, folding the handkerchief and cleaning her hand at last, placing it next to the bottom layer of quilts they lay on, before turning on the side, looking at him - he rested on his back, his eyes were low lidded but still awake, returning her gaze. 

“What?,” Levi whispered, throwing the quilt on top of him.

Erwin’s hand found hers from under the quilt, gripping the fingers softly and guiding it to his face with the back of her hand facing up. She watched wordlessly how he kissed her knuckles, each and every one, stunned by the unfamiliar tenderness and when he was done, Levi simply leaned forward, melting into his mouth with a rivaling warmth she didn’t know she was capable of gifting to another human.

“Goodnight,” she breathed, retrieving her uniform and putting it on slowly - Erwin was dozed off already when she was ready to sneak outside, returning to her own tent.


	5. Welcome to the Survey Corps - I/II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *waves excitedly*  
> This admittedly short chap is one of two flashback chapters that used to belong together, but I thought it is better when this one stands on its own as the next one has a different tone and is also completely from Erwin's POV again (which is where, spoilers, I'll be bringing some mild Erumike).  
> The chapter is not even halfway through, but it's probably going to be a similar length like the previous one.
> 
> Similar to the whole story in general, and I honestly don't know how many chapters I'll end up posting in the end, but I have an outline up until chapter 10 for now. And it's far from finished there, lol. (To think I initially intended this to be just a one chap fic.)  
> I plan on following the canon events after that chapter, and still debate with myself on how I'll stick with them. There are just some things Isayama did in SnK that I doubt I can incorporate in this story, haha.
> 
> Also, I think I could use this and quickly thank you so much for the kudos and the comments :) It makes me happy to know you like it.  
> See you hopefully soon.^^

* * *

The door squeaked open, as Levi stepped onto the roof, letting the wooden door fall shut. No stars in the sky, the moon was barely visible either - making Levi sigh as she walked numbly to the edge, sinking on a stone slap. 

Exhausted. Levi was just exhausted. All that hate and bile she felt for Erwin Smith decreased more and more, every day she spent here, and she feared it to leave her entirely burned out in the end. She still had the option to leave, to crawl back to the Underground City... But what was the point? 

"What did we die for, Levi?"

She flinched at the words, lifting her head to look at Farlan; and instead staring into empty space.

Levi turned her head to the side, clenching her jaw bitterly. The words stung in her heart, she still hadn't find the answer to his question yet. “I’m sorry,” Levi heard herself say, feeling her eyes burn and tasting salt soon after. “I couldn’t bring myself to kill him.” 

That day, he had awoken something strange and powerful in her. 

"Don't cry, big sis."

"Isabel…" Levi breathed, her breath caught when she turned around even more, towards the origin of the voice; the girl wasn't behind her. Silently, she shifted on the stone slap she was sitting on and began placing her feet down to cross the roof. 

Just after her hand reached out for the door handle to open the door and leave, the wood slammed against her, making her stumble to the ground. Shocked and in pain, Levi lifted her hand to her throbbing head and felt for blood, not seeing any when she inspected it. 

"What the fuck...?"

That's when her eyes fell on the ground a few centimetres next to where she sat on the stones, tracing the round, ball sized object; Levi’s mouth opened when she recognised what it was, feeling a cry of horror form in her throat.

Isabel's severed head lay there, the dull lifeless eyes stared right through her, the only thing left from the girl that wasn't swallowed by a titan; an image which had burned itself inside her mind.

  
  


Levi woke by her own yelling, shaking and jolting up. Her heart raced in her chest, beating so strong it hurt. 

"Levi," a low voice called, the calm tone in stark contrast to her agitated panting. She didn’t react. 

"Levi, look at me," the voice called her again in order to guide her attention to its owner; it didn’t work, she wouldn’t calm down. Another panic attack. Subconsciously, she could feel two big hands grip her shoulders firmly, shaking her. 

That’s when she bristled and retrieved the knife she always kept underneath her pillow - a habit she didn’t lose when coming here. She was ready to cut whoever was touching her, hearing a gasp beyond the mist of sleep and panic and felt one of the hands clutching her wrist, stopping the blade in front of the face she was now looking at.

It was Erwin Smith. He had crouched next to the low bed she was sitting on, the bright blue eyes meeting Levi’s; he widened them, still gripping her shoulder with the other hand. Finally, her equally wide eyes stared back, confused about his presence in the bunks as she came back to the present - she slowly and shakily dropped the small blade on the mattress while his fingers eased their grip. 

“Good,” she heard his voice. "Now, breathe," the man whispered, both of his hands shifted to hold her shoulders again more calmly, as she did fill her lungs to his orders, taking several deep breaths and calming down gradually. Her eyes shifted to look past him and saw Nelke hovering in the middle of the room; the woman was holding her arms, biting on her lip nervously and eying Levi as well. 

"Can I sit?" The man asked quietly when she breathed normally again, pointing with his eyes to the bed. His hair was unkempt, Levi now realised, and he was wearing casual clothes. It was so strange, seeing this man so disheveled. Apparently, he was asleep himself until Nelke must have brought him in. 

She felt herself nod, his weight as he carefully sat on the edge of the bed. Levi’s eyes didn’t stray off his face, taking in the slight stubble, which were this same dark blonde as his eyebrows. He awkwardly rubbed his eyes with his fingers, letting them pinch his nose bridge, barely daring to look at her. Levi couldn’t blame him - her hands flew to the covers who had fallen down when she sat up before, pulling them up and hiding her naked chest. Well, now he knew for good, if he had previously questioned it.

“Nelke”, he addressed the lean figure still standing there, “You can go to sleep again.”

The woman disappeared to one of the beds after glancing at Levi and nodding in compliance. 

“Pull on some clothes, I will wait outside,” Erwin Smith then whispered, rising from the bed and leaving the bunks quietly, making her huff at his mysterious demand.

  
  


After silently donning on her uniform, Levi left the sleeping bunks, meeting Erwin Smith in front of the door. She followed him through the building, reaching another ward and going to the door on the end of the corridor. It was his office. She remembered having to stand guard here when Farlan searched for the documents that were supposed to reveal Lobov's doing. 

Levi followed him inside, reluctantly. "What do you want?," she mumbled, but he only asked her to sit on the chair in front of the desk. It was hell knows how late or early, depending on how one looked at the whole situation. Folding her arms in front of her chest, she promptly let herself fall onto the chair. 

The blonde placed something on the desk, sliding it in front of her. When he drew his hand away from it, she managed to take a look - it was her knife. 

Right when Levi was about to raise her voice to ask him what he expected of her, he spoke, answering the question for her.

“You can still kill me. If you don’t want to risk your life in the corps, kill me and go.”

“What the fuck?” Levi breathed, feeling anger rise in her. It didn’t quite resemble that hatred she bore towards him weeks ago, but this was still violent. “Do you have a death wish or something?”

She watched him how he took the knife and offered it to her more forcefully; her mouth was dry, looking up in his face. He was dead serious. 

"Kill me and you’re free to go."

Levi didn't move. Was this a test? Did he expect her to demonstrate her loyalty? Would taking the knife mean she betrayed him and would he let her be executed after all? 

"What about my crime records? You told me I wouldn't be punished if I joined the corps. And now you want me to ruin that?", she asked in disbelief.

He was calm when he began to explain, "No one expected you to survive. If you leave and get caught by the Military Police, the chances you will get sentenced to death are admittedly high."

Feeling her throat close, Levi stood at once, feeling her skin crawl with cold anger and something else she couldn’t define. "Go fuck yourself. If you want to die, wait 'til we leave the walls next week. I'm not taking part in that."

Levi turned to exit the office, but he stopped her. Her back hit the wall, gasping in shock; he had thrown her, and now stood in her way as he looked down to her, furrowing his brows when she didn’t move.

“Fight,” he demanded.

“...Asshole.” Levi stood, wanting to go past him, but his arm caught her, knocking her to the floor once again. With a dull klink, she saw the knife stopping in front of her nose. “You’re pissing me off...”, she hissed, gripping it and throwing it back at him on impulse.

He dodged and it bounced off the wall; they both looked at it, waiting for the other to make the first move.

She ended up doing what was told of her, and struggled for a moment in a fight with him, in which none of them got the upper hand. Levi knocked him back and he hit the desk. This time Levi jumped forward, clutching his wrist and stopping the knife in front of her chest. They grunted, clenching and baring their teeth. He was strong, but Levi’s strength surpassed his; she pried the blade out of his hand, knocking her elbow to his guts and grabbed him, pushing his face down on the desk.

Levi let out an angry yell and plunged the knife down.

The sharp steel sank into the wooden plate centimetres next to his nose. The bastard didn’t even flinch.

“I won't kill you. These days are over,” she growled, letting him go and standing. "And I'm not leaving, either."

With this, she walked past the desk, closing her hand into a fist angrily and feeling the blood coming from the little cuts on her fingers; she heard his voice stopping her in her tracks before she could open the door.

"Welcome to the corps, Levi."


	6. Welcome to the Survey Corps - II/II

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Waving in shame* Holy fuck, this chapter took way too long. Writer's block is a bitch and all that real life responsibility left me little energy to even think of writing, but it's here now and I hope it's somehow worth the ridiculously long wait.

The mission was a success; by their standards at least. They had few casualties, and the new route they took turned out to be less difficult to venture than feared, allowing for a faster transport of supplies between two reclaimed outposts.

Erwin ought to have enough reason to be filled with joy.

“See Levi?” 

He would rather not. The image of her grey eyes piercing through him was too powerful. He was worried of his own reaction once he would lift his head and follow Mike’s eyes to where the small woman sat - what was it that made the thought of meeting her eyes so daunting?

He felt a nudge on his leg and let his attention fall on Mike, who grinned and quickly masked it with a swig of his mug. "I think someone's interested," he muttered, his lips barely forming the words, as if aware someone could figure their meaning through their movement alone.

Unaware of what he meant, he turned his head to the side and dragged his eyes up, trailing their surroundings slowly while remaining a low profile.

His gaze set on the bench a few metres away from Mike and him. He didn't mean Levi. The woman had thrown one leg over the other in a casual position and held the bottle in one hand, just taking a gulp of the wine directly from it before placing the bottle in her lap. She watched Nelke, who sat facing her with one leg bent on the same wooden bench, gazing at Levi with low lidded eyes. Her cheeks were flushed, making them fit to her reddish brown hair. He felt the tension between the two women from his squad, too, Mike wasn't alone with this. Erwin watched, feeling as though he was disturbing the women just by that. It was very intimate, inexplicably so.

He almost didn’t see what happened next, as it lasted only a handful of seconds, but then he did and it made his breath hitch.

Shifting closer to Levi, Nelke stretched her hand for the bottle, wrapping her fingers around the neck and stroking upwards. Then, suggestively, her fingertip trailed the rim before dipping it inside and stroking the opening. It was a brave move, with only one motive behind; and Levi’s sharp eyes of course caught it. 

Taking his own away was impossible, as Erwin waited for Levi to react to the advance. Nothing in her position nor face changed. 

Nelke also looked for a response, taking her hand away from the bottle. Briefly, Erwin thought she shied away but he was wrong, as she slided even closer to the smaller woman next, courageously putting her mouth on Levi's.

Mike grunted, having seen it as well, "Damn." 

Erwin tried to breathe. This was the moment where looking away would have been appropriate, but he couldn't. No one else cared about the two women; not when everyone was occupied drinking or stumbling outside, either alone or arms in arms with their comrades. After a short pause, just as Nelke began to draw away, Levi returned the kiss. Making his heart sink to his stomach. 

They were both drunk, he was sure of it; it wouldn’t be the first time alcohol made people do something on impulse. The women went on and shared several kisses, stopping in between a few times and taking sips from the bottle, brushing mouths with wine-tinted tongues. 

Erwin saw to the table, as he forced himself not to stare. His head was light, and everything else could have been to blame: The alcohol burning in his body, the warm and stuffy air in the hall where their comrades sat shoulder to shoulder, the small triumph of today’s mission. 

When he dared to look again, they had stopped and he caught Levi standing, fully turning her back to him. She must have said something, he saw the attention in Nelke's face just before Levi walked off, avoiding the big groups of soldiers laughing and hugging each other on her way out.

After a short while, he saw Nelke leave the bench as well, taking the same direction Levi disappeared in before her.

When he turned his head on the table ultimately, he noticed Mike staring at him. "I've never seen you make a face like this before, Erwin," the man said in a low hum.

Erwin pushed to his feet. “I need to breathe some air.” 

  
  


His right palm was hurting again. Turning it upwards, Erwin looked at it, running the fingers of his other hand across the freshly healed wound, tracing the pink scar.

When her blade cut his hand on her first expedition, after she had lost her two companions, he could feel it shake in his grip. The titans she supposedly had slaughtered all by herself had taken a toll on her then, to his luck probably. 

A memory that haunted him in his dreams during most nights - her tears perfectly camouflaged by the heavy rain, the shock and pain in her eyes replacing the murderous look when she realised he had tricked her. She had lost everything because of his gamble. 

Erwin stood from the chair, and wanted to leave the office, but his eyes fell on the carve in the wooden desk, making him stay nevertheless. It reminded him of their last night in this office, one week ago. He still remembered Levi’s strength when they wrestled for the knife. Something made him believe she held back then. He couldn’t quite understand - after all, he hurt her and threatened her life. He had expected- no, wished for Levi to try and attempt a kill, as insane as it seemed. Perhaps he did have a death wish, and was too much of a coward to deal with it himself. Of course, that’s partly the truth.

Something had changed; Erwin witnessed it today as well. Levi followed his orders somewhat willingly, the hate was gone from her eyes, making him believe she bore no grudge towards him after all. However, he didn’t know whether he should read the snappish comments and coarse demeanor of hers as dislike towards him - she was like this to everyone. Even so, Levi had changed; and Erwin marvelled at the transformation. She single handedly killed at least six titans today, it was astounding and probably responsible for saving quite a lot of lives. She was a beam of hope for their comrades who were in awe of her fighting skills and whom she had started to form bonds with as well. Not long and people would begin to talk about her outside the corps. In the end, the thug made a formidable soldier.

Erwin identified the feeling he felt back in the hall as jealousy. It was the first time he experienced this himself, having only read about it in his mother’s novels before, or witnessed it with old comrades off duty when the young waitress they had ogled had given one of them special attention, causing hell to break loose afterwards. He never experienced it himself. Not even with Marie. Until now, he always thought it would never occur to him, finding it silly. 

Just what was it about Levi that interested him, to the point he felt jealous? Levi was short, crude and full of peculiarities. Most of the time, she wore a disinterested expression on her tired face - those dark rings underneath her dull eyes seemed to have been formed in countless sleepless nights and were there even before she lost her two companions. 

Levi was also an unconventional beauty; she had a small but muscular build, slender shoulders and equally slim hips. Erwin's mind had saved the view of her naked breasts when the covers revealed them, as inappropriate as it felt thinking about that again. They were so petite, easy to be hidden beneath a loose fitting shirt and a wide cloak. All this together with her short hair, she could have passed as a young man if she wanted. 

Didn’t she already? Apart from fighting, she knew how to hide and disappear. Being a woman in the Underground City… Erwin figured there must have been little beyond stealing or selling her own body in order to ensure her survival in that forsaken place. However, the thought of Levi forcing herself to sleep with men made his stomach turn. 

In the end, it was pointless thinking about her this way, because he doubted it was likely Levi would ever reciprocate the interest he developed - not only because of what he saw this evening. The damage he’d done was too grave. Her devotion was directed to their common cause, as it should be, not to him. They didn't even speak about anything besides the necessary. 

He had to swallow it for good, and focus on his goal.

A quiet knock at his door disturbed the thoughts. He lifted his head, "Yes?”

Mike’s head was the first of his to enter the room, looking around and sniffing in the air - to check whether someone was with Erwin. "Are you good?"

"You won't believe me if I told you I am, will you?," Erwin spoke, tracing his scar again absentmindedly. He felt the other’s eyes on him.

"No, I won't," the answer came dryly.

Erwin sighed. He walked around the desk, meeting Mike in the process of approaching the door, stopping close by his side. "To be honest, I could use some distraction," he hummed, getting his point across by touching Mike's lower abdomen, sliding his fingertips to the direction of his groin.

Mike eyed him up and down, jumping on the invitation. "You or me?," he promptly asked.

  
  


It was Erwin's room they retreated to. Until recently, Mike visited him every night, from the day Levi was brought to the corps. He was afraid of an assassination attempt, not trusting Levi in the slightest. Of course, it was only understandable, given the hateful looks Erwin had received from the small woman. 

The door closed with a bang, when they already stumbled inside, hands pulling on each other's harness, drunken with alcohol and pleasure as their mouths collided and they shoved the other through the room, content with the first surface they would land on.

Erwin felt the edge of his bed at the back of his knees and slumped on the mattress, making Mike fall over as well because he was holding his chest strap, crashing on top of him. Both of them groaned, breaking out in laughter that rippled through them.

"Sorry I fell on top of you," Mike said, still chuckling, kissing him on the cheek. "I'd like to stay here, unless you mind."

"Not per se…" Erwin rasped, "but I think you'll have to get naked first."

"With pleasure," Mike hummed, opening the clasp of his harness in front of his broad chest.

They unbuckled belts and strips, big hands sliding off harnesses and uniforms. Occasionally, both kept giggling quietly, lightheaded with wine and arousal which was building up rapidly; the breathy puffs of air were accompanied by shaking movements of their laughs which only made their cocks harder, now unconstrained after they shed their pants at last.

It came uninvited just when he was taking Mike inside his mouth that Erwin's mind pictured Levi and Nelke together; the images from before wouldn't leave him alone. The kiss, Levi standing and going away, Nelke following. What if they were having an intimate moment as well, somewhere, right now? He didn't believe Levi would do something like that, drunk or not. But then again - he didn't expect her to return the kiss as well.

Mike looked at him, his face worried. He mumbled, "I can feel you think, Erwin." 

Leaving the other's cock, Erwin sighed soundlessly, "I'm sorry, Mike."

"You’re into her, aren't you?" 

Erwin was quiet, returning the other’s gaze. “I’m not.” 

But he felt his cheeks burn in betrayal, and Mike understood, grinning almost sympathetically. 

Before they could delve into the topic any further, Erwin shifted up and gripped Mike's shoulder with his not scarred hand, bowing down and kissing his friend's lips again, feeling his beard tickle his chin as they opened, inviting him into the warm and wet mouth. Their tongues danced with each other, Erwin received a pull on his arm which made him lay down as well. 

This was what he wanted. And he intended to enjoy it. To hell with his thoughts about Levi.

“Does that distract you, Erwin?,” Mike muttered, lifting his hand and wrapping it around both their touching cocks, joining Erwin’s. He looked at him with his head tilted to the side, receiving a chuckle. Erwin let his other hand rise to Mike’s neck. 

“It does, as expected.” Erwin leaned in, their foreheads touching. Thankfully, he was able to concentrate on the way their hands worked together. For now, the only thing existing were thick and rough fingers sliding up and down their shafts in unison, their breaths mingling between their faces, intoxicating and warm. 

They shared the bed, reliving an old habit from their cadet days during the process. Their first time was a mess, both had come too quick after rutting against each other for a couple of seconds. Since then, they had grown so much, learned to be patient and last longer. 

But this time, patience was something Erwin failed to muster up, as he was rock hard and no amount of touch seemed appropriate. Frustration won in the end, and he had the other bury two fingers into his ass, coated in spit. 

"Are you sure we don't need the oil?," Mike hummed, looking down to Erwin, who simply shook his head and eased a laugh.

"Getting it will take too long," he mumbled, turning his head slightly behind himself, growing serious, "Continue."

The fingers began to stretch him, work him open on his demand. When he felt prepared enough, Erwin again turned to Mike so he could take his swollen cock inside his mouth and try to get it as wet as possible. A final glance and Erwin knelt in front of him, back against front, as Mike started to enter.

The discomfort was inevitable, but it was still very welcome to Erwin - it was fulfilling and demanded his attention, exactly what he needed, to keep himself from thinking while the pictures creeped in front of his inner eye; small wine-tinted lips and tongue, bare breasts and pointy nipples…-

He clutched his cock; it throbbed mockingly as his traitorous mind slipped once again, plummeting into a place filled with the dark-haired woman - this time, Erwin let it be. He would curse himself after this was done. 

Mike grabbed him by the hip, groaning in pleasure and relief when he was finally in. A highlight as he otherwise was silent during sex. Erwin felt a drop of sweat running down his temple and he couldn’t help himself, answering with a low grunt.

"Yes," he pressed through clenched teeth, "Come on, Mike."

Of course, the man wouldn’t let Erwin ask him twice, so he started to rock into him, his hands tugging at Erwin's body in countering movements, which managed to push his cock deeper ever so slightly until there was no space left to fill between their hot and damp skin. Releasing his hip, Mike had one hand travel up - across his spine, to his neck… Gripping his hair tightly and making his head tilt back. 

Erwin gasped in surprise and had to force his hand away from his cock, holding onto the bed sheet in an attempt of lasting longer, just a little while longer, clinging onto the discomfort as the thrusts picked up in speed. Erwin groaned loudly, followed by a burst of incoherent curses and demands, which probably did not make any sense, but Mike could read him - in battle and in pleasure. He tried to focus on it: Mike taking him, knowing he would regret not listening to him and getting the oil afterwards, the discomfort fighting with ecstasy as he slowly began to get closer. 

“Come,” Erwin panted, hearing Mike grunt in response, his thrusts jerky. Not much time passed and Erwin could feel it, warm and thick, filling him until Mike left slowly, breathing heavily. His own hand slid around his aching cock again, not holding back anymore and soon it spilled; white covering the pink scar.

Erwin slumped down, closing his eyes and hoping the thoughts would leave him be just for a little while, but of course - what was he expecting? - they lunged at him, now that he was vulnerable, using this moment yet again, reminding him. Of wine-tinted lips, daunting grey eyes. 

"Mike." He whispered just past the flat pillow receiving a hum from the other man, who was still recovering from his orgasm. "Stay."

"I think you should go take a bath first," Mike responded, drawing the words and hesitating when he finished speaking them, coughing a laugh. “Do I sound like her?," Mike chuckled, falling quiet soon after.

Erwin sighed, beginning to search for the handkerchief. He was glad for the ache with every movement, glad to be in this drained and intoxicated state, despite his mind not allowing him full peace even now. "You're right,” he spoke to the other man, before wiping himself and slipping on his uniform once again. 

  
  


On the way to the men's baths, he saw someone in the corridor. He squinted in the faint glow of the torches, trying harder to focus on the small figure slumped against the wall which now slowly lifted their head.

Levi.

It seemed she recognised him as well. Almost at once, her back straightened and she stood, leaving the wall. “Oh?,” she made, a hint of a sneer inside her monotone voice. “The sniffer not with you?” Her voice was gruff, as expected, and it managed to hit him. He stopped several steps away from the small woman - something she noticed with a quiet hiss, turning her head slightly away. 

Erwin stayed quiet and calmly watched Levi for a few seconds. There was this dialect again - he was surprised to hear it break through; he had noticed she tried to keep it away after the other two got killed on the last expedition.

“You did marvellous today, Levi. Everyone is much more at ease knowing they have your skills.”

“Well, they shouldn’t rely too much on that.”

“How is your hand?,” he heard himself ask, seeing her growing frown.

“What?”

“You cut your fingers when you retrieved your knife.” Erwin nodded at it, hanging by her side. "Will you let me have a look?"

Levi scowled, hesitating at first but upon seeing his steady look, she lifted it, palm facing to the ground.

He let his feet close the distance between them and took the small cold hand, looking at it in wonder. How could this hand be so strong? It was much more tender looking in his rough palm, even though he could feel callouses rivaling his own. Erwin pushed his sudden surge of awe aside, examining the cuts. Or rather where the pale skin was supposed to be open, only seeing even paler lines. 

_They closed that quickly?_

He expected them to be still healing, as training and holding the reins sure would have prolonged the process. 

He noticed her stare and let go of her hand, finding the right way of doing so was a challenge. The least he wanted was to give her the wrong impression. "How are you?," he asked, trying his best to soften his voice and face - Levi eyed him disgruntled and huffed.

"Why do you care?" she grumbled. 

"I care in general, even if it doesn't always seem like I do." He shifted his eyes to respond to her sharp stare. "I want to apologise. But you don't have to accept it."

In the dimly lit corridor, he could see Levi open her mouth. He half expected her to reply with a feisty comment, but instead, the woman shook her shoulders. "It's fine. I figured you wanted to know whether bringing some thugs from the gutters was worth it.”

“I already knew that when I first saw you use the gear.” Erwin watched her blink for a while without replying. Their eyes locked, long enough for him to feel his breath hitch in his throat and forced his own away. “Goodnight, Levi.”

He could still feel her eyes on his back when he was continuing on his way, the cold phantom of her hand in his palm, hoping taking a shower would get rid of it all and when he would fall in his bed the thoughts about Levi would vanish once he woke up fully sober and rested the next morning.

Morning came, he was sober and awake, and he was wrong.


End file.
